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The Wellspring Demos (Chemo Dreams) 2012

by Stuart Ferguson

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1.
My name is Logan Baker I am thirteen years old I was born in Kansas City I will never grow old The doctor said my heart ain’t working right There is nothing he can do My dear mother wipes away the tear Every time she leaves the room It’s a sunny day outside Coming through the window pane Lying here all by myself I’m not the only one expecting rain My father is Elijah He’s a teamster through and through Worked for thirty years to own this home On East 11th Avenue I am the ninth of eleven children There are four who’ve gone before Two sisters and two brothers Who are waiting at the door It’s a sunny day outside Coming through the window pane Lying here all by myself I’m not the only one expecting rain When it falls the curtain call begins I take my bow, waiting, waiting My sister Ella has a baby boy Joseph is his name Born in August ‘97 He will only know name The family is gathered ‘round me We know it’s coming soon It is April 1900 I’ll be gone before it’s June It’s a sunny day outside Coming through the window pane Lying here all by myself I’m not the only one Am I the only one? I’m not the only one expecting rain
2.
My name is Logan Baker I am thirteen years old I was born in Kansas City I will never grow old The doctor said my heart ain’t working right There is nothing he can do My dear mother wipes away the tear Every time she leaves the room It’s a sunny day outside Coming through the window pane Lying here all by myself I’m not the only one expecting rain My father is Elijah He’s a teamster through and through Worked for thirty years to own this home On East 11th Avenue I am the ninth of eleven children There are four who’ve gone before Two sisters and two brothers Who are waiting at the door It’s a sunny day outside Coming through the window pane Lying here all by myself I’m not the only one expecting rain When it falls the curtain call begins I take my bow, waiting, waiting My sister Ella has a baby boy Joseph is his name Born in August ‘97 He will only know name The family is gathered ‘round me We know it’s coming soon It is April 1900 I’ll be gone before it’s June It’s a sunny day outside Coming through the window pane Lying here all by myself I’m not the only one Am I the only one? I’m not the only one expecting rain
3.
February 05:21
Frost on the window Slips through the crack The mirror offers A stranger’s hand “I hardly know you, Won’t you come on in?” Winter morning Cold stone floor A quiet hour Behind closed doors You are sleeping Dreams fill your head The words, they come to me One by one, like counting sheep Tired eyes Speak to me Of countless hours Spent far from sleep “Can I help you Ease your worried mind?” Will time spent talking Convince you now Only lovers, know somehow When to stay and when it’s time to leave The words, they come to me One by one, like counting sheep You can hold me Heal me Free me Help conceal me Together we’ll fight off the chill You can warm me Warn me I will conform To a world of beauty A world that can’t stand still Frost on the window Crack in the glass An empty promise There is no turning back This is the last time I will see that smile February made me shiver Condemned me to, the darkest winter
4.
Tonight 04:33
5.
Wednesday morning 3 a.m. Accepting what she’s known so long Her bags packed by the door it’s time to go One last time she looks around The ghosts who live here settle down Wave to her as she steps through the door Leaving’s always easy It’s the staying gone that’s hard The devil and his details holding out that calling card Leaving’s never hard It’s the tugging on your heart The whisper of the wind that tells you, You can’t, Forget where you start Miles and miles to go til dawn She’s been down this road before Just ahead she’ll find the county line About this time she turns around Let’s her gaze fall on this town She pitys those who never get this far Leaving’s always easy It’s the staying gone that’s hard The devil and his details holding out that calling card Leaving’s never hard It’s the tugging on your heart The whisper of the wind that tells you, You can’t, Forget where you start The Road treats her so badly The only things she knows Is in the morning when the sun comes up She’ll be headed home Once more Sunday morning once again A bible firmly in her hands The demons at the door all know her name
6.
Wednesday morning 3 a.m. Accepting what she’s known so long Her bags packed by the door it’s time to go One last time she looks around The ghosts who live here settle down Wave to her as she steps through the door Leaving’s always easy It’s the staying gone that’s hard The devil and his details holding out that calling card Leaving’s never hard It’s the tugging on your heart The whisper of the wind that tells you, You can’t, Forget where you start Miles and miles to go til dawn She’s been down this road before Just ahead she’ll find the county line About this time she turns around Let’s her gaze fall on this town She pitys those who never get this far Leaving’s always easy It’s the staying gone that’s hard The devil and his details holding out that calling card Leaving’s never hard It’s the tugging on your heart The whisper of the wind that tells you, You can’t, Forget where you start The Road treats her so badly The only things she knows Is in the morning when the sun comes up She’ll be headed home Once more Sunday morning once again A bible firmly in her hands The demons at the door all know her name
7.
8.
9.
10.
Observance 04:03
Can somebody tell me What it is that I’m seeing Cause right now I don’t believe my eyes So much pain, so much sorrow Bring their promise to tomorrow A promise, you hope would be a lie If a picture paints a thousand words We have the ones we need But the words I want escape me Like they’re borne away by thieves The scale’s too great to comprehend The price the final cost For each life has it’s meaning It’s damage and it ‘s loss Can somebody tell me What it is that we’re learning A lesson here should not be hard to mind Prayers are offered for the fallen Wrapped in tears, voices calling Raised for those we still hope we may find

about

In early 2012 I wrote a series of songs that were designed to reduce stress surrounding the recovery of my Mother-in-Law from a significant stroke in December of 2011. I had no way of knowing the my own journey was about to take a huge detour.

After a couple of months of back and rib pain, first thought to be inflammation, I was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma on July 5, 2012. I was in bad shape and treatment with Chemotherapy began immediately. I was fortunate that my body responded, but there were a host of side effects and one was neuropathy of the hands and feet, which can be short-term or more permanent.

With that in mind, I quickly set out to record vocal and guitar demos of the songs that I had written over the winter in the event that my guitar playing was significantly impacted over the long term. On two days in July and one day in August I laid down simple demos for the songs at Wellspring Sound in Acton with the help of Erick Kilburn, who was at the helm for my latest album "Love Songs (and other tall tales)" in 2010. Eric was kind enough to lend me his 1948 Martin D-18 that I had used on a number of songs on Love songs so that I could get used to playing these new songs on that guitar before coming in to record them.

I offer these track here now as this may be the final stop for some of them as my current sound is moving more to an electric guitar oriented genre. These come to you warts and all. These are rough mixes that were made at the end of each session so I would have a reference recording. Alas, some of the guitar playing is less than my best due to a number of Chemotherapy drugs, steroids, opiate narcotics and various antibiotics and antiviral drugs coursing through my system.

Proceeds from sales here will go towards my next project, a sort of low level Kickstarter fund. Buyers who choose the "pay more if they want" option will get at least a mention in liner notes of the new project(s). I'll have to think about some interesting swag for those who go above and beyond. It may include, but not be limited to a guest appearance on a song.

Just my way of spreading some music that might not get out there otherwise, and get a toe in the water for funding the next project.

Be well,

Stuart

credits

released November 22, 2015

Stuart Ferguson - Vocal and Guitar
Eric Kilburn - Engineering and Production

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Stuart Ferguson Boston, Massachusetts

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