The Wellspring Demos (Chemo Dreams) 2012

by Stuart Ferguson

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about

In early 2012 I wrote a series of songs that were designed to reduce stress surrounding the recovery of my Mother-in-Law from a significant stroke in December of 2011. I had no way of knowing the my own journey was about to take a huge detour.

After a couple of months of back and rib pain, first thought to be inflammation, I was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma on July 5, 2012. I was in bad shape and treatment with Chemotherapy began immediately. I was fortunate that my body responded, but there were a host of side effects and one was neuropathy of the hands and feet, which can be short-term or more permanent.

With that in mind, I quickly set out to record vocal and guitar demos of the songs that I had written over the winter in the event that my guitar playing was significantly impacted over the long term. On two days in July and one day in August I laid down simple demos for the songs at Wellspring Sound in Acton with the help of Erick Kilburn, who was at the helm for my latest album "Love Songs (and other tall tales)" in 2010. Eric was kind enough to lend me his 1948 Martin D-18 that I had used on a number of songs on Love songs so that I could get used to playing these new songs on that guitar before coming in to record them.

I offer these track here now as this may be the final stop for some of them as my current sound is moving more to an electric guitar oriented genre. These come to you warts and all. These are rough mixes that were made at the end of each session so I would have a reference recording. Alas, some of the guitar playing is less than my best due to a number of Chemotherapy drugs, steroids, opiate narcotics and various antibiotics and antiviral drugs coursing through my system.

Proceeds from sales here will go towards my next project, a sort of low level Kickstarter fund. Buyers who choose the "pay more if they want" option will get at least a mention in liner notes of the new project(s). I'll have to think about some interesting swag for those who go above and beyond. It may include, but not be limited to a guest appearance on a song.

Just my way of spreading some music that might not get out there otherwise, and get a toe in the water for funding the next project.

Be well,

Stuart

credits

released November 22, 2015

Stuart Ferguson - Vocal and Guitar
Eric Kilburn - Engineering and Production

license

all rights reserved

tags

Track Name: Logan Baker (vocal 1)
My name is Logan Baker
I am thirteen years old
I was born in Kansas City
I will never grow old

The doctor said my heart ain’t working right
There is nothing he can do
My dear mother wipes away the tear
Every time she leaves the room

It’s a sunny day outside
Coming through the window pane
Lying here all by myself
I’m not the only one expecting rain

My father is Elijah
He’s a teamster through and through
Worked for thirty years to own this home
On East 11th Avenue

I am the ninth of eleven children
There are four who’ve gone before
Two sisters and two brothers
Who are waiting at the door

It’s a sunny day outside
Coming through the window pane
Lying here all by myself
I’m not the only one expecting rain

When it falls the curtain call begins
I take my bow, waiting, waiting

My sister Ella has a baby boy
Joseph is his name
Born in August ‘97
He will only know name

The family is gathered ‘round me
We know it’s coming soon
It is April 1900
I’ll be gone before it’s June

It’s a sunny day outside
Coming through the window pane
Lying here all by myself
I’m not the only one
Am I the only one?
I’m not the only one expecting rain
Track Name: Logan Baker (vocal 2)
My name is Logan Baker
I am thirteen years old
I was born in Kansas City
I will never grow old

The doctor said my heart ain’t working right
There is nothing he can do
My dear mother wipes away the tear
Every time she leaves the room

It’s a sunny day outside
Coming through the window pane
Lying here all by myself
I’m not the only one expecting rain

My father is Elijah
He’s a teamster through and through
Worked for thirty years to own this home
On East 11th Avenue

I am the ninth of eleven children
There are four who’ve gone before
Two sisters and two brothers
Who are waiting at the door

It’s a sunny day outside
Coming through the window pane
Lying here all by myself
I’m not the only one expecting rain

When it falls the curtain call begins
I take my bow, waiting, waiting

My sister Ella has a baby boy
Joseph is his name
Born in August ‘97
He will only know name

The family is gathered ‘round me
We know it’s coming soon
It is April 1900
I’ll be gone before it’s June

It’s a sunny day outside
Coming through the window pane
Lying here all by myself
I’m not the only one
Am I the only one?
I’m not the only one expecting rain
Track Name: February
Frost on the window
Slips through the crack
The mirror offers
A stranger’s hand
“I hardly know you,
Won’t you come on in?”


Winter morning
Cold stone floor
A quiet hour
Behind closed doors
You are sleeping
Dreams fill your head

The words, they come to me
One by one, like counting sheep


Tired eyes
Speak to me
Of countless hours
Spent far from sleep
“Can I help you
Ease your worried mind?”


Will time spent talking
Convince you now
Only lovers, know somehow
When to stay and when it’s time to leave

The words, they come to me
One by one, like counting sheep


You can hold me
Heal me
Free me
Help conceal me
Together we’ll fight off the chill

You can warm me
Warn me
I will conform
To a world of beauty
A world that can’t stand still


Frost on the window
Crack in the glass
An empty promise
There is no turning back
This is the last time
I will see that smile

February made me shiver
Condemned me to, the darkest winter
Track Name: Wed 3am (take 1)
Wednesday morning 3 a.m.
Accepting what she’s known so long
Her bags packed by the door it’s time to go

One last time she looks around
The ghosts who live here settle down
Wave to her as she steps through the door

Leaving’s always easy
It’s the staying gone that’s hard
The devil and his details holding out that calling card

Leaving’s never hard
It’s the tugging on your heart
The whisper of the wind that tells you,
You can’t,
Forget where you start

Miles and miles to go til dawn
She’s been down this road before
Just ahead she’ll find the county line

About this time she turns around
Let’s her gaze fall on this town
She pitys those who never get this far



Leaving’s always easy
It’s the staying gone that’s hard
The devil and his details holding out that calling card

Leaving’s never hard
It’s the tugging on your heart
The whisper of the wind that tells you,
You can’t,
Forget where you start

The Road treats her so badly
The only things she knows
Is in the morning when the sun comes up
She’ll be headed home
Once more

Sunday morning once again
A bible firmly in her hands
The demons at the door all know her name
Track Name: Wed 3am (take 2)
Wednesday morning 3 a.m.
Accepting what she’s known so long
Her bags packed by the door it’s time to go

One last time she looks around
The ghosts who live here settle down
Wave to her as she steps through the door

Leaving’s always easy
It’s the staying gone that’s hard
The devil and his details holding out that calling card

Leaving’s never hard
It’s the tugging on your heart
The whisper of the wind that tells you,
You can’t,
Forget where you start

Miles and miles to go til dawn
She’s been down this road before
Just ahead she’ll find the county line

About this time she turns around
Let’s her gaze fall on this town
She pitys those who never get this far



Leaving’s always easy
It’s the staying gone that’s hard
The devil and his details holding out that calling card

Leaving’s never hard
It’s the tugging on your heart
The whisper of the wind that tells you,
You can’t,
Forget where you start

The Road treats her so badly
The only things she knows
Is in the morning when the sun comes up
She’ll be headed home
Once more

Sunday morning once again
A bible firmly in her hands
The demons at the door all know her name
Track Name: Observance
Can somebody tell me
What it is that I’m seeing
Cause right now I don’t believe my eyes

So much pain, so much sorrow
Bring their promise to tomorrow
A promise, you hope would be a lie

If a picture paints a thousand words
We have the ones we need
But the words I want escape me
Like they’re borne away by thieves

The scale’s too great to comprehend
The price the final cost
For each life has it’s meaning
It’s damage and it ‘s loss

Can somebody tell me
What it is that we’re learning
A lesson here should not be hard to mind

Prayers are offered for the fallen
Wrapped in tears, voices calling
Raised for those we still hope we may find

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